I recently got into another rant with fellow Low Fiver Billy about how to write characters that are smarter than you. The reason I harp on this issue lately is twofold:
First, I recently watched an anime called No Game No Life that’s been widely regarded as one of the best anime of the last say five years or so. And I was kind of into it until in retrospect I realized that the characters, more specifically their level of intelligence, were poorly written.
Superhuman intelligence is a thing in fiction that I’m entirely okay with. I’m also perfectly okay with omniscience, that is, arbitrarily knowing everything (Everything). What I dislike is getting the two confused.

So I was sitting around thinking about Captain America today (as I often do) and I found myself kinda fixating on his shield. Now, I’m an English major and even when I was exposed to physics on a semi-regular basis my grasp of it was spotty at best, but I’m fairly sure that his shield is the worst weapon ever, by virtue of the fact that it’s the best defensive tool ever.

I’d like to take a moment to tell you all about a particular man. I’m not going to name him because quite frankly you don’t need this man in your life, but trust me when I say that he is very real. This man may very well be, at least ideologically speaking, the worst person on the planet alive today. He has a website (which I’m not going to link) where he posts articles about things like how a Jewish conspiracy runs the entire world from the shadows, and how feminism is a disease which can be “cured.” He has an article that’s literally just called “Anti Semitism is Often Justified.” And I know I said that this week’s article was supposed to be brighter, and I promise it will be, just bear with me on this for a second.

Alright, we’re back on American Horror Story this week. In case you’re not caught up on my weird pipe dream, you can check out parts one and two here and here.

One quick note worth mentioning. I realized after having posted that I left a plot thread unresolved in the last article. Namely Evan Peters and Lily Rabe traveling to the library to meet our aging and bitter Megan Fox. In order to begin where I’d like to begin this issue needs to have been resolved in the previous episode. So for the sake of this article let’s assume that Evan Peters and Megan Fox have already met and that Evan’s quest for Kathy came up empty and, I dunno, Megan Fox did something creepy. She’s weird. Don’t judge me.