So in last week’s article I mentioned that I had recently sat down and watched all five Twilight films in a single sitting because, “Ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny to do that for Low Five.” One traumatizing fourteen hour experience later, and here we are. Without further ado, let’s talk about the middle chunk of the saga, New Moon and Eclipse.
Maybe two weeks ago my girlfriend and I were joking about the Twilight series of books, which she’s read, and I haven’t. The subject came up because a little while ago I revealed to the internet that I’d read a story where a woman tries to fuck a bear and ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny if I started a series where I reviewed books where women attempted to have sex with animals.
“Well, if that’s the case I’d have to start with Twilight,” I said, “The movies, not the books. I don’t have nearly the time or willpower for the books.”
And so we had a 13 hour movie marathon.
Now, I know a fair bit about the Twilight series despite having never read or experienced them firsthand. Several friends of mine have read the books and through their accounts I managed to piece together a mostly accurate timeline of events. I know that plain jane Bella moves to Washington and shacks up with a vampire and a werewolf, and then two more books happen, and then a werewolf falls in love with a baby (Which, full disclosure, is about 60% of why I decided to do this marathon.) Now that I know the specifics though, well, I kinda wish I didn’t.
Alright, so I’ve played some more Final Fantasy XV. It’s basically all I’ve been doing (Which is why there was no article last week and this one is late. Herp.) I maintain that it is an excellent game, however the criticisms I talked about still stand. There’s a few other things that I’ve noticed though, now that, statistically speaking, I’m about halfway through the game. (In terms of the main story. I’ve completed a shitload of sidequests and my characters are nearing endgame strength but we’ll get to that.) As always, spoilers for Final Fantasy XV follow after this.
Scott Watmough has many strong opinions about many things that he knows very little about. They're usually about video games.