Alright, we’re back on American Horror Story this week. In case you’re not caught up on my weird pipe dream, you can check out parts one and two here and here. One quick note worth mentioning. I realized after having posted that I left a plot thread unresolved in the last article. Namely Evan Peters and Lily Rabe traveling to the library to meet our aging and bitter Megan Fox. In order to begin where I’d like to begin this issue needs to have been resolved in the previous episode. So for the sake of this article let’s assume that Evan Peters and Megan Fox have already met and that Evan’s quest for Kathy came up empty and, I dunno, Megan Fox did something creepy. She’s weird. Don’t judge me.
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We’re going to hold off on more American Horror Story this week, both because I need some more time to formulate my ideas and because something else is on my mind right now.
The last couple days I’ve been playing a lot of Sid Meier’s Covert Action. If you’ve never heard of it I don’t blame you, the game is older than I am. Now, let me be clear: This is not a game that I played in my childhood. I played this game for the first time about 2 years ago. I also have no love for games of this age, and in fact, generally speaking, I loathe most games that were made prior to about 1995. So take that into consideration when I say this: Sid Meier’s Covert Action is fucking awesome. So last week we talked about the beginnings of my fictional sixth season of American Horror Story: Boarding School. Before we keep talking about the specifics of it, I wanted to take a second to prove to you all that I actually know how to write. And no, this isn’t the part where I tell you about my degree or how many times I’ve been published or whatever, this is where I talk about the mechanics behind the episodes I’m describing:
So, this season of American Horror Story is shaping up to be pretty average. There’s not really any polite way to say it but the acting has gone way downhill, and I’m not really sure why. That cast has been so star studded over the years it could be Neil Diamond’s goddamn track suit. (Ho ho! Topical.) And the premise is fine: A hotel run by weird vampire people. Sure. There’s nothing wrong with that idea per se. It doesn’t really grab me (and in fact I get the distinct impression that Ryan Murphy was stoned out of his mind listening to the radio when “Hotel California” came on and he had a lightbulb moment) but the premise isn’t bad.
So it’s gotta be the direction. There’s only so many times I can see Mr. Police Officer Man running down a hotel hallway yelling “Holden!” at the top of his lungs before it starts to look a little ham-fisted. Did you guys see the premiere of Onepunch Man? Hooooly crap. So this is a series that I’ve been reading since early this year or so, and luckily for me the fine people at Madhouse were kind enough to announce an anime back in March. I’ve been slowly salivating over previews since the summer and it’s finally here. Let’s try writing a journal post like I’m Cole, okay? Okay. It should come as no surprise to anyone that I’m a pretty lazy person (You might notice that this article went up a little late. Yeah.) and from time to time it’s hard for me to find sources of motivation in everyday things like, say, not failing out of university. You know, hypothetically. Which is why it was nice when I began watching Kenichi and realized that I felt a desire to do…stuff. I gave an hour long lecture today on a book I hated. Is Kenichi entirely to blame for that? Probably not. But let’s entertain the thought that it is for a second because that makes for a more interesting article. So there’s this concept in rhetoric called ‘the strawman argument’ where a person assumes the roles of both sides of an argument, then trivializes or over-simplifies one side of the argument and then tears it a new one in the role of the other side of the argument. The name comes from the idea of attacking a version of your opponent made out of straw (that can’t fight back) and then going around and telling everyone that you beat said opponent.
This might be a little hard to visualize, but thankfully while I was trawling the internet recently I came across this helpful graphic which almost perfectly illustrates the strawman argument as it pertains to ‘strong female characters’ in video games. Let’s take a second to talk about why this argument (and this particular logical fallacy) is dumb, shall we? (Note: This post was written on July 6th, 2015, the day after Dragon Ball Super episode 1 aired)Alright, I know I implied that I was going to talk about why American audiences began importing Japanese culture this week, but we’ve got to address something else instead. It’s time to talk Dragon Ball.
Dragon Ball Super premiered in Japan on the 5th of July, and like any good enormous nerd I was on that shit like a fat kid on a Twinkie. More Dragon Ball? Are you fucking kidding me? The scientific community could have announced a cure for cancer on Sunday and I wouldn’t have given a shit. You know why? Because I wouldn’t have known it happened. Because I would have spent all day watching fucking Dragon Ball over and over and over. I’ve always been a fan of the Phoenix Wright games, and I’ve had Dual Destinies sitting on my 3DS basically since I bought it. Recently however I’ve had a bunch of spare time on my hands (and a resurgence of desire to play handheld games) and I finally sat down to take a crack at it. Admittedly, I haven’t had a chance to beat the game yet but we’re operating on a deadline here so this is what you get.
The main thing that’s captivated me about this game – and I say captivated but it’s more like ‘amused me beyond belief’ – is actually due to an unexpected problem with English translation. See, since the beginning, the Phoenix Wright games in English have had a really weird conceit about them not taking place in Japan. I seem to recall them saying early on that the games took place nonspecifically in the United States, but the really important part is that the games do not, according to the English translation, take place in Japan. In Dual Destinies this becomes a bit of a hilarious problem. |
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Scott Watmough has many strong opinions about many things that he knows very little about. They're usually about video games. Archives
March 2018
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